mermaid: bae come over i’m bored
me: i cant breathe underwater
mermaid: i’m off my period
Repeat after me: I am a goddess. My spirit is towering, my soul is mighty, my breasts are magnificent and my shoes are super fucking cute.
Giving has always been my favorite
i must know her name
Holy shit that actually would make an awesome book plot. Like maybe some poor footsoldier gets killed in action and gets a humble funeral with only the basic necesseties to bury a body. He doesn’t even get a fancy tombstone with RIP or anything. Then suddenly his spirit gets thrust into some ugly, putrid, upside-down afterlife with ghouls and monsters shooting at each other. He just barely ducks down to avoid a ectoplasmic bullet and all of a sudden there’s this zombie dude with half his face rotted off yelling at him to ‘get up and fight you dumb kid!’
The zombie dude is actually an old war vet from WWII and he’s been part of the skeleton war for longer than he can remember. The skeleton war is actually just a bunch of dead guys spending their afterlife fighting supernatural horrors and keeping them from entering the world of the living. It’s a thankless task and sometimes they let a few ghouls slip past them on Halloween, but it’s war. War is always a thankless task no matter if you’re dead or alive.
#holy fajitas please write a novel
Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.
To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.
I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…
Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.
Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.
One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.
This is the best band post
Everyone else go home
Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this
which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,
that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that
Who does that?
This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.
More like Julius Fuckit
"You think ‘Okay, I get it, I’m prepared for the worst’, but you hold out that small hope, see, and that’s what fucks you up. That’s what kills you."
POTATO POTATO POTATO
I have never seen so much excitement over a potato in my life.
POTATOES ARE EVERYTHING
This is ME.
i was labelling stuff today and this lady scoffed at me and i was like hi and she was like writing with ur left hand is immoral. its 2014 and someone actually said that to my face